Love me like you do
by imaginepearls
Summary: This story follows Gray's perspective and emotions during glimpses of moments between training with Juvia up until after meeting with him as an Avatar. Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or the song Love me like you do
1. Chapter 1

Each morning when the rays of sunlight first creeped in through the window, he would sleepily open his eyes and sit up in bed to find that she was sitting on the windowsill already dressed and ready for the day. He always thought it would make more sense for him to get up first since they were focused on his training, but there she was, every morning. Many people would assume she was there to get a better view of him sleeping, but she was always looking out the room, watching the sunrise.

There were two vertical, rectangular windows with six panes each. One was directly across the room from his bed and the other across from hers. Although hers was obviously closer and more convenient for her to occupy, she always took her place on his windowsill, casting her shadow on him when he woke up. He always appreciated it as an afterthought since the heat would make it unbearable for him and make it difficult to rest.

One particular morning, curiosity got the better of him and he finally asked why she was always up before him. She smiled softly and responded with the same clarity she always had for everything she did.

"Juvia never wants to miss the light" her voice would chime with warmth.

Wherever there was light, there stood Juvia.

She was on the windowsill, the seat at the table underneath the sunroof, the land unshielded by the trees, the sunbaked path.

And with every bit of daylight they could squeeze out, they trained. The moment the sun was up, so were they. They weren't just up, they were kicking, punching, and breathing with every pulse of light the day was offering. During their time together, there was no rain, just the sweat that drenched their bodies and soaked up any cool breeze that passed by them.

She would offer to turn into water for him to cool off, basking in the daydream of encasing him in her water body and he would have to ward off her advances with obvious embarrassment and horror. No matter how exhausting it was, even those moments were cherished.

When evening fell and the light retreated back into the depths of the horizon, she would go back inside to start dinner as he continued training. By the time she called him back in, the stars would dot the sky and lead him back to her. Even in the darkness, she was the light.

It was funny. As much as everyone teased him about bringing light into her world, it seemed like she was the warmth he would never want to avoid.

Night was just as treasured as the day was with her. Always eager to spend leisure time with him, the late hours were filled with her chatter and questions. Although his answers were blunt and kept short, she was never discouraged by his inability to open up. They ate together, got ready for bed together, spent the night in the same room as each other.

The silence before falling asleep was precious and the stillness between them was incomparable to any other moment in time or space.

He could feel every rush of blood from the beat of his heart when she stared into his eyes right before succumbing to sleep. Every night, without fail, she would quietly chirp "Goodnight, Gray-sama" and make the blood rush furiously to his face. Her eyes would slowly droop and every blink would become slower than the last, lashes fanning out from her pale face.

These were the memories he stored in the back of his mind for he knew this could not last forever. As all things, this would end and he would be left with the aching effort to keep his heart beating. Every night, after she fell asleep and the last bits of light succumbed into the darkness of night, he shook the blush away and closed his eyes, anticipating the inevitable dream of Juvia pulling him towards the golden sunlight. He long accepted that this was his fate.

She was the light, the night, all he saw when his defenses were down.


	2. Chapter 2

With water still dripping down the strands of his hair, he walked out of the bathroom and stood lazily in front of the mirror by the bed with only a pair of shorts on and a towel around his neck. He didn't bother putting on a shirt, knowing he'll only discard it moments after he walks out of the room. He especially didn't want that to happen after he came close to losing some of the shirts Juvia made for him.

There wasn't much change in his physique since the training began and the black webbing across his right shoulder and chest no longer surprised him. Still, there was a sliver of hope within him that the image of himself that he had been seeing for the past few weeks had only been a dream. A cruel dream in stark contrast of Juvia leading him to the light.

When he saw that the black tendrils had only gotten bigger and pulled taut at his muscles, his eyes narrowed for a fleeting second before relaxing into the hooded eyes he had always seen the world with. With a sigh, he lifted the towel off his shoulders and dried his hair off with swift swipes before throwing it into the laundry bin on his way to the door. With all the clothes he would throw off at random times, it was the least he could do to help Juvia.

He thought it would haunt him- the demon slayer magic taking over him in physical form. Instead, whenever he closed his eyes, he saw her humming in the kitchen, picking up his clothes strewn across the floor, training alongside him, brushing her teeth with him. Shaking the images out of his head, he opened the door and walked out into the kitchen where he heard the familiar humming.

Her songs always sounded curiously like raindrops. It wasn't the downpour that they were caught in when they first met. They were like the soft dripping down a rooftop, pooling on the ground to reflect the clouds retreating from the sky. It wasn't what he imagined waking up to every day, but he had grown accustomed to it. Strangely, he had grown fond of the apron and pigtails.

As he did every morning, he opened the fridge for a drink to go along with breakfast and stiffened when he felt her arms wrap around his torso and her cheek against his back.

"Good morning, Gray-sama"

He wanted to relax into her embrace, into the escape she offered from the dark reality of the magic and his quest. He wanted this quiet life with her. He wanted to give in to this cure.

Instead, he had to welcome a different kind of pain.

"I think the fish is burning" He said coldly while pushing her arms off of him.

He felt her small smile press against his spine before letting go and scurrying over to the stove to make sure their breakfast wouldn't go to waste. His coldness towards her didn't stop her happy humming.

She turned the stove off when she deemed the food ready and turned around with the pan of fish to bring it to the table that was already set for the two of them. When she saw the noticeably bigger mark, her eyebrows furrowed with silent concern, but didn't press on. She decided long ago that she would wait until the day he was ready to talk to her about it.

She clasped her hands at her chest and went starry eyed at sharing the early morning with her beloved shirtless in front of her.

"Itadakimasu" was all he muttered and started eating, knowing that she'll catch up to reality and try to feed him soon enough.

Sure enough, she snapped out of her daydream and picked up her chopsticks. Without enjoying a single bit herself, she picked up some of the fish she prepared and leaned over to try to get him to eat it. She only pursued him more when he leaned back in his chair and pushed her hand away with a slight flush on his face. When her eyes watered up and she started to whimper words about him not enjoying the fish, he sighed and took a swift bite.

Her tears subdued immediately and she went starry eyed once more.

He struggled to keep a smile from creeping up on his face. He never thought that these moments would mean so much to him. With each day together, he found that his desire for her grew in his heart. He longed for more than just the ghost of her warmth and silly antics, but they would have to remain only in his memories. He would have to repeat them in his mind like a mantra before going to sleep to keep his sanity.

But he could never let these moment that meant so much come too close to him.

Because as much as they were what he desired with all his heart, they were what made it all that more difficult to leave her.


	3. Chapter 3

He knew if he stayed any longer, he would come to harm her. It was difficult to say exactly what kind of effect the dark mark would have, but none of his guesses came up positive. The darkness was gaining a tighter grip on him by each day, hour, minute. If not the physical discomfort of a foreign mark growing on his skin, the mental strain of worrying about it and the fears plagued his day. Replaying the warm memories before falling asleep wasn't enough anymore. He would have to leave the house on his own for hours at a time to gain control over his mind and convince himself not to hurt her before he could even think about returning back home.

It was a battle everyday, having to conquer the evil and the fear before taking the long journey back to her. When he came home, she would be waiting by the door, watching out through the rain for him. Not being able to act on his feelings, he would wave away her yearning looks and the questions waiting on her lips. It was especially awful knowing that the rain was a reflection of her inner turmoil. It was hard to deny that dinner was cold and her eyes were wet. He could not look into her eyes because he was all too familiar with the lurch in his chest.

At first, he couldn't understand why he had such intense feelings for her. Perhaps it was annoyance? She always went out of her way to touch him, talk to him, learn more about him. He never had anyone try to pry so much information out of him before and it unnerved him.

But with every pang in his heart when she approached him, his pulse became quicker and his breaths became shorter. It was not about avoiding her and her affection anymore, it was trying to control his blushes and impulses. No one could know his thoughts and his feeling, it would have to be locked up and barred in his heart. The guard around his heart was like the ice he yielded, but her heart was ever flowing and constant like the water.

He became fearful of what she was becoming to him. She was his enemy, his nakama, his friend, and now it was unclear how she stood in his life.

Then it became the fear that someone will find out the contents of his heart and make him as vulnerable as he was as a child. He was afraid that someone would use her against him, attack him at his core like Deliora had done with his family.

And now, it was the fear of losing her to himself. It was not an outside force or demon, it was himself that would do the most harm to her.

It seemed as though fear was the only constant in his life. It consumed his mind and demanded to take priority in his life. Now that he had a new constant in her, he didn't care for the fear. He didn't care for his safety anymore.

He had to act soon and swiftly.

As she lay asleep, he planned his route out of the house and out of the village. He would either find Porlyusica or die trying. No one would be able to point out his direction and she would not be able to find him. He knew that if he told her his plans, she would give up her safety and her happiness to tend to his needs. He needed to do this on his own and become stronger so that he could come back to her whole. His fears of vulnerability didn't matter anymore, his plan was to protect her. On this new high of accepting his feelings once and for all and acting upon the love he had for her, he pushed down the poison and sorted out the house in the same way he sorted out his feelings.

He never felt so liberated before.

The food that they shopped together for was organized to feed her for months. It was particularly easy to make it that long because she would only have to cook for herself instead of two. Even though he anticipated this journey to take only a few days, he wanted to be over prepared for her sake.

His clothes were sorted into piles for her to access whenever she wanted. He was well aware of her stealing some articles of his clothing for her pleasure.

His necklace lay in the drawer by the bed. It was a reminder for him to come back and gift it to her, something he had planned to do for a long time now.

When he organized everything and was sure that she would be well taken care of in his absence, he gently slid back under the sheets. He knew that this new surge of energy was going to motivate him, but he was completely unable to fall back asleep due to the euphoria taking over and consuming his mind. Just this once he would let it /spanpossess him. Just this once, he would indulge himself in this bliss.

For tomorrow, he would have to leave.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been days since he left the house he built a home in with Juvia. It had been several days spent in the forest trying to find Porlyusica and erase or control his dark mark. It had already been much longer than he anticipated and yet, it seemed as though those few days were his last and that he was now reaching his end point.

He couldn't hold the magic back anymore. The demon slaying magic was too much for his mortal body to handle. He felt the darkness pierce through his innermost thoughts with a clean cut and seize control, a sensation he had been fighting for much too long. So he let down the blockade to his mind and let the happy memories that kept the darkness at bay fade into the background. With the struggle he put up the past weeks, he was strangely at peace. After weeks of pushing down the urge to give up and making sure that the change would not harm Juvia, he was finally able to give in to the full power of the demon slayer magic with some kind of assurance. It gave him all the more comfort knowing that he was an undoubtedly safe distance from her and the house. It was even better than he knew the last memories before giving in would be Juvia, following him into the depths of his dark mission. The release was a relief.

But only for a mere second.

Then came the panic and the void of despair. The black mark tensed up, gripping his skin tight against muscle like teeth sinking into its prey. He didn't know what to fight off in order to end the horror. As much as his body was struggling with the breath leaving his lungs and the blackness clenching his bones, his mind was screaming with loss as well. Although he planned on letting the memories of warmth and content with Juvia take a backseat in his mind, he did not prepare for them completely leaving him.

They were floating away and out of his body. His eyes moved rapidly, trying to absorb them back in and his hands clawed at his scalp to force them back inside, but they were leaving too quickly and too large in numbers. They were flooding out of him as eagerly as she poured them into him. His throat became hoarse with screams and his body lurched with every dry heave. The memories that guarded him left his body and out into the universe, past the realm he knew and into the specks of light far out of reach.

Their memories together were inflicting pain on both counterparts. One was left with a void, unaware of what was missing. He was losing himself to the vast universe that was far too powerful for him to attain. The other was flooded with all the happy memories that no longer were. She was left alone to carry the burden of the life they built together.

His vision was taken over with black with no one to accompany him in the dark. Juvia was not near him in presence or in memory.

She was contained in the heavens, a place a demon like him could never enter. She was like the water in the clouds. And like her state of mind, the rain started to trickle down. At first, it was a slow, hesitant sprinkle, an anticipation of what was to come. With every moment he was lost, her hope sloughed off of her. He could not see, he could not hear, but he could feel the downpour of rain soaking him to the core.

He was deep in the depths of darkness, lost to the world while his memories of her were taken past the satellites. Only the constant rain was a reminder of the life he once had.

She would be the only soul to contain memories and articles of the life he had int he past months. She would be the only one who could see the life he built, they they so painstakingly built. She brought him to life with the little things and now, she would be the only one to see that world.

For he was merely a vessel now.

An avatar.


	5. Chapter 5

Since the battle ended between the reformed Fairy Tail, the council, and the avatars, Gray had been fading in and out of consciousness. Although some would deny it, Natsu and Erza had a bit of fun bashing him for his new look and the pain he inflicted on Juvia. He didn't mind since he also thought he deserved it and since he had missed fighting with them anyway.

The first time he came to, he was laying with his back against the rubble on the ground and a curtain of blue hair around his face. His whole body ached and it seemed impossible to move even a single finger, much less his body off the ground. However, that was not what caught his attention. What did demand his focus were Juvia's deep blue eyes peering at him with undeniable worry. He could faintly tell her lips were moving to form words of concern, but her eyes were his lifeline. He had a few seconds of consciousness to register that he was incredibly and unbelievably in love with them before passing out again.

Every time after that, he was able to stay conscious a bit longer than the last. He was grateful for each elongated time for he was able to get acquainted with her slender wrists, her long lashes, her small feet, her animated self, her everything. It was like falling in love with her for the first time all over again only this time, he didn't have to pull away.

He knew she would find him, it was Juvia. How could she not? Even though he knew it would be dangerous for her to take that journey and follow after him and that he wanted her far from the danger he posed, the bigger part of him was so relieved she found him. He wanted to audibly sigh every time he opened his eyes and saw that she was there beside him. He knew it must have been difficult for her, not being recognized by the one she loved after she was left alone for months. Even so, she always found a way to be by his side. Not only that, she didn't hold resentment against him or blame him for how he left her. Just like always, she would remind him

"As long as Gray-sama is safe and back with Juvia, Juvia is happy!"

His heart ached knowing that he didn't deserve the happiness she was offering to him. That only propelled him to be better and to finally give her what she deserved and make them into a reality. Although, he couldn't do that just yet. Most of his time was taken up by sleep.

His dreams were of fantasies, being able to openly care for her, no threat of demons, the quiet home in the woods they shared, time together in the guild. They weren't just hopes that he was seeing, he was seeing memories. Every memory he lost when he gave into the dark magic was returning. They did not flood in at once like the way they left, they dripped into his soul every time he slipped back into his slumber, slowly pooling in his mind to create a vast ocean of moments together. They were healing him.

Between every dozens of memories, he would gain the strength to open his eyes and see his visitors.

There was a memory of Juvia baking cake, and then Natsu mocking his hair.

Juvia was tending to his wounds out on the porch, and then Erza was offering cake.

She was presenting him with another personalized shirt, and then Lucy was telling him about how the guild was getting back on their feet.

He shared the bed with her for a night after a moment of weakness, and then Wendy was offering her advice for quicker healing.

Even in reality, Juvia was the one constant in the room. While a large window was on the right of his hospital bed, Juvia was sitting on his left on a stiff and clearly uncomfortable chair that she moved from the opposite wall. She made sure he got plenty of rest and that the noisy guild members did not distract him from improving his health. Whether he was awake or asleep, she was there invading his soul like a sweet scent.

It was no longer just Juvia who wanted to escape into a starry eyed state, he had to refrain from embarrassing himself as well.

It really must have been paradise.


	6. Chapter 6

When he was finally strong enough to be released by Porlyusica, Juvia refused to let him go home alone. Not only had she, both of them, actually, become accustomed to living with him for months, she didn't dare lose an eye on him for another millisecond. Now that Gray had accepted his feelings for her and was planning on acting upon them, he wasn't complaining about the living arrangements.

In fact, he yearned to be closer to her at all times. He wanted to sneak up behind her while she cooked and he wanted to hold her close during her sleep. This time, it wasn't him who opposed of sharing the same bed, it was her who was afraid of imposing on his space. She understood that he did not leave because of what she did, she had much more faith in him than that, but she did not want to risk doing anything that upset him, especially in his fragile state. He didn't force himself on her either for it seemed like she would need some time before completely trusting him again. As much as that hurt him, he didn't have any excuse to make her think otherwise. It was true.

Gray refused to believe he was fragile. He was never frail or helpless after Deliora. Yet, he had to admit, Juvia had the power to turn his legs into jelly with an innocent smile and a simple touch on his forearm.

Since he got out of the hospital, they had been staying together at his house. Juvia wanted to at first have him at her place, but boys were not allowed at Fairy Hills. They still shared a room as they had done before. He was grateful to have at least this much, despite the abundance of plush dolls in his image that served as pillows, slippers, and more articles that were much too inappropriate for him to even go near. Even though it made him happy that she was just as crazy about him, quite possibly more so, as he was about her, cuddling himself was far from what he imagined he'd be doing when they reunited.

She always fell asleep before he did. This wasn't anything new either. However, this gave him the chance to explore the canvas of her body, something he forced himself to not do before. He never did anything to overstep boundaries. Instead, his fingers would sweep over her cheekbones, trace her jaw, thread through her hair, interlace with her hands. He desired more of her, of course, as any man would, but he would not take advantage of her.

It did not bother him that he would have to wait to have more of her, he would wait for as long as she needed him to. She would be all that more precious to him when she was his. Besides, this was the least he could do after all the time and effort she invested into him with seemingly no progress.

Her past, her thoughts, her emotions, her body was the holy grail he needed to map out and work to achieve. And as precious as the prize is, he could not rush the process. Especially since she was no object that he could just claim.

His determination was an unending flame that melted the icy heart that previously believed no one was worthy enough to enter. It was funny how he always longed for the cold of ice and yet, his body was constantly ablaze with passion and warmth. Now that he had a purpose and he had caught sight of the holy grail, his heart was on fire.

A fire so big and hot, even Natsu would drive himself crazy trying to contain it.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a few weeks since Gray told Juvia about the feelings he had been hiding so long and told her the complete story of the struggles he went through to protect her and how he fell into the avatar state. He sat her down at his table in the kitchen and took a few shuddering breaths before starting. She listened to him patiently and held his hand through the entire tale. She never once interrupted him and at the end, they sat in the comfortable silence made by the honesty and trust between them.

She didn't react as ecstatic as he thought she would to his confession and instead smiled her honey sweet smile and gently pressed her lips to his. After the rough past months, it made sense that she didn't try to jump on him and crash them to the floor in fiery passion. This is not to say that she didn't want to. Oh, no, he could clearly see that desire bubbling under the surface. He smiled into her lips and pulled her close with one hand on her cheek and the other against the small of her back.

Now that he was fully healed, he had been able to participate in guild activities and make amends with people. Of course, as Fairy Tail is, they were all very forgiving. He was always nakama to them, avatar or not. He didn't have to do much to be accepted into the guild again except show his sincere apologies and prove that he was the same Gray Fullbuster they've always known. This didn't mean he didn't try to make it up to people. You know, booze for Cana, cake for Erza, fish for Happy, little stuff like that. It also didn't mean he didn't get hit a few times. Every person got a word or two in. A lot of them went with punches, actually. But that was expected.

Every time someone managed to hit him, it sent Juvia into a panic. Little bits of her was returning, just like the intense worry she held over him and any who attacked him. She would scold them for hurting him more than he's already gone through and fluttered around him, trying to heal the wound as quickly as humanly possible. He may have felt suffocated or embarrassed before, but now he welcomed the affection. He did it for her too.

They've also gotten into a rhythm together.

They would wake up, eat breakfast together, get ready to go to the guild, look for a suitable job, go on a date, go home, and sleep in the same bed. It was comfortable and familiar now. He knew he didn't have to give her elaborate confessions or go out of his way to show her his love. She also knew that he would no longer push away her advances and still fawned over him shirtless and cheered him on during fights with Natsu, just like old times. What they had was enough and Gray wasn't going to push her for more.

There were times when he wished for more. Anyone would think Juvia would be the one pushing for more out of the relationship and wanting to advance it as quickly as possible, but she had been under a lot of stress and fear. After all the training they went through together and dealing with him leaving, a part of her broke.

Gray would do everything he possibly could to heal the injuries. That's especially because she let no one else see them. They were for his eyes only and it was only fair since he placed them there. He would happily let her set the pace and advance their relationship exactly the way she wanted it.

Besides, every time she held his hand, kissed him, or snuggled into him at night, it meant so much more than anything else he'd ever known. Every touch sent tingles throughout his body and shook up all the thoughts in his head.

He couldn't think straight around her

How could he possibly want anything more?


End file.
